Wednesday, February 3, 2016

The Ten Commandments of The Fleshtones: Star Hits, 1985

In advance of the Fleshtones' 40th anniversary this year, I'll be combing through the Sweat: The Story of The Fleshtones, America's Garage Band archives for some little-seen nuggets. In December of 1985 the Fleshtones appeared in Star Hits magazine, alongside Thompson Twins, Tears For Fears, A-Ha, Paul Young, ABC, et al. As unlikely as it is in retrospect to consider Super Rock sharing glossy pages with Top-40 New Romantics, here are the guys gamely posing for a promotional photograph. ("We've made a career out of baffling people," Peter Zaremba admits in the article.) The best bit is "The Ten Commandments of The Fleshtones," as proclaimed by the fellas, fearlessly uncool edicts for commercial radio in 1985 and all the more timeless:

1. "ANYBODY CAN DO WHAT WE DO, IF THEIR MOM WILL LET THEM."

2. "DO FORM A ROCK AND ROLL BAND AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. DO NOT LEARN TO PLAY YOUR INSTRUMENT FIRST."

3. "HANG IN THERE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE RIGHT."

4. "THE COMMANDMENT OF JR. WALKER: DO THE BOOMERANG, THE FLY, AND THE JERK."

5. "NEVER WRITE OUT A SET LIST MEANING TO STICK TO IT."

6. "HONOR THY FENDER."

7. "FASHION COMMANDMENTS: THERE ARE NO FASHION COMMANDMENTS, ONLY TIPS."

8. "THOU SHALT NOT BE A SQUARE OR A DRAG UNTO OTHERS, ESPECIALLY AT PARTIES."

9. "DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU YOU CAN'T PLAY IN A BAND BECAUSE YOU'RE A GIRL. YOU DON'T HAVE TO JUST WATCH."

10. "THOU SHOULD PROBABLY MAKE A HABIT OF WATCHING CUTTING EDGE."




More archival Fleshtones materials here, here, here, here, here and here.

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